Connection, Health, and the Power of Extending Yourself

With all the modern advancements of the world, we might assume people feel more socially connected than they did generations ago. Afterall, much of the past limitations of communication now have modern solutions, with texting, videoconferencing and social media bridging the gaps of time and space in social connections. Yet, in 2023 the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health epidemic and the American Medical Association concurred the following year.
 
How, in this Age of Communication, is loneliness a public health crisis?
 
It’s important to first clarify terms. “Loneliness” is a subjective experience in which the individual feels a level of unease because their need for connection does not meet their reality. A lonely individual may be surrounded by people but still does not feel connected and supported. The depth of their relationships is too shallow. “Social isolation” is the objective reality of truly existing with a deficit of social bonds. And for some, that may be just fine—they do not experience a need for something deeper. But for others, loneliness is a consequence of social isolation.
 
Loneliness is a major social risk factor for morbidity and mortality, on par with diseases and lifestyle factors such as obesity, sedentary behavior and even smoking. Evidence links loneliness to premature death and several adverse health outcomes including but not limited to an increased risk of dementia, stroke, heart disease, hypertension, depression, diabetes, and arthritis.
 
How can loneliness undermine one’s health in such profound ways? Not all studies result in the same findings. The postulated pathways include physical, psychosocial and behavioral, and possibly an interplay between the three. Here are some of the proposed mechanisms at play:

• Stress. Having an unmet need for deeper social connections is suspected to sustain a physiological stress response leading to immune suppression, hypertension, systemic inflammation and impaired metabolism.
  
  
• Lifestyle behaviors. Lonely individuals might be more likely to have a sedentary lifestyle, poor diet, and engage in activities known to undermine health, such as smoking, alcohol consumption or recreational drug use.
  
  
• Sleep. It is well-documented that lonely individuals demonstrate poor sleep quality. This may be the result of depression or stress and lifestyle behaviors, all of which are deleterious to sleep quality.
  
  
• Depression. In some cases, loneliness may drive depression where an unmet need for deeper social connections leaves the individual feeling unsupported and ill at ease. In other cases, depression may lead to self-isolation. Depression can activate a physiological stress response, disrupt sleep and encourage poor lifestyle behaviors.

 
If you are lonely, please schedule time to speak with me. Together we can discuss your feelings and explore options for resolution.
 
If you are satisfied with the depth of your social connections, it is still possible you know someone who is suffering. Perhaps someone who recently lost a pet or spouse, someone new to your community, a neighbor who lives alone, or a quiet coworker. Could you take the time to extend yourself to that person? Perhaps you could invite them for a walk or a cup of coffee, drop off a home-cooked meal and have a chat with them, invite them for a game of cards—or something else that piques your interest, and theirs?
 
Extending yourself in this way can be good for you, too. A 2024 study analyzing 90 workplace well-being interventions found only one intervention resulting in a positive association across all measurable well-being outcomes: charitable work/volunteering. In other words, being of service to others.
 
With the holidays rapidly approaching, perhaps you can find the opportunity to improve your sense of well-being by extending yourself to someone in need?